Jace's Angst
by AttyAriAki
Summary: SUMMARY CHANGE: Jace is trying to go back to the person he use to be. The Jace that only wanted girls, then wanted them to leave him alone. Its the only way he can forget Clary and deal with the fact she's his sister. of course this doesn't work.
1. Chapter 1: Jace's Angst

This a one shot on jace's point of view about Clary and Simon's relationship and his angst in it all.  
This is my first so I'm a little nervous.

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'Jace's Angst'  
Rated R

Set in City of Ashes

Not a second goes by that Jace doesn't check his phone in hopes of seeing at least one phone call from Clary. But none, since the night of Simon's '_rebirth_' She has been avoiding him with all costs. He hated this, he hated all of it.

He remembered the tortured look he saw on Simon's face when they withdrew from the waters of the lake. He remembered watching him come to some kind of realization, but didn't know what. He actually felt something for the pathetic little worm. He hadn't meant to kiss Clary like that, truly he didn't. He hadn't meant to rub it in the mundane's face either.

The moment he touched her, the moment, her eyes closed, it was like they were the only two that were there. Like they weren't related and they had all of the world to themselves, free to love and live together. He couldn't help hold her as if he could never hold her again, as if tomorrow would never come.

Jace let out a long sigh, as he walked the streets of New York, finding some sort of escape.

That's what the fearies did, after all. They gave you your deepest desire, let you enjoy it, even only for a moment, and snatched it back, making you wish you had never wanted it in the first place. The queen; it was her who threw their incestuous desire in the mundane's face, not them. Why couldn't she see that?

But Clary refused to to see anything when it came to that mundane. It was the one thing that Jace hated about her. Sure, he understood the fact that he's been her best friend since they were very young, and that she loved him deeply. That wasn't the issue, the issue is that she refuses to see when the mundane is wrong. _He_ was always the one pushing Jace, with rude remarks, and sarcasm. For the Angel's sake, even the first night he met the irritating little insect, he was already insulting him.

"_you clearly also couldn't be bothered to call me and tell me you were shacking up with some dyed-blonde-wanna-be goth..."_

It wouldn't of annoyed Jace so much, if it weren't for the fact that it was obviously because the mundane hated _any_ other guy that Clary was attracted to.  
Yes

It did seem unfair to be in love with a girl you've known your whole life, who doesn't love you no more than as her brother.  
Yes  
It did seem unfair when some strange guy that she only met recently sparks her attention faster then their child-hood friendship. Than that same stranger, also happens to be her brother. But even that wasn't Jace's fault. It's not like they knew they had any relation when they began to have these feelings for each other.  
Then again, maybe the mundane_ did_ have a somewhat reasonable reason to act so harshly against Jace.

_No_! Jace understood all of these things, but he still felt there was no excuse for the mundane's rotten behavior.

Jace has noticed the small hint of prejuidism in Shadowhunters that the mundane posessed. All based on his one judgement againsr Jace. And Clary thought _they_ were the ones who were pejuidice against mundances. The fact that the mundane refuses to consider Clary one of _them_. When he said that they were all stuck-up spoiled rish brats. If only the mundane knew the way _he_ had grew up. He'd realize the world of Shadowhunters wasn't only what _he_ has seen. Maybe Alec and Isabelle could fit that description, but not Jace, never Jace. Besides, It was his preciouse little Clary that was doing all the hurting, it ws her refusing to see the light. So she makes the mundane suffer more. But this wasn't her fault, Jace saw what she was trying to do, but it was only making things worse for all three of them, and she doesn't even realuize. And the Mundane, the mundane refuses to realize who the _real_ cause for his pain is.

Instead of taking it out on the girl, _using_ him to forget about who she _really_ was in love with, he takes it out on the guy she's in love with. The one who actually saw the aftermath of their heated, passionate kiss in the Seelie Court written all over the mundane's face. she, who was his best friend, avoided his stare.

Jace paused his thoughts for a moment, to let out a humorous snicker.

That's right, the boy is no longer a mundane, he's a blood-sucker now. No longer the 'Mundane' the the 'Vampire'. Jace couldn't help but laugh as he came closer to his destination.  
The wretched little _satanic-cock-sucker_ actually thinks he'll have respect and call him by his name. Nope. Not until respect is returned, he'll have to learn how to do that. This problem goes both ways, and at least _he_ was mature enough to see that. He'd stop being rude, and sarcastic, if the _Satanic-Cock-Sucker_ would stop doing the same. But it will never go both ways, the only respect Jace would ever get from him, is if they both agreed to stay at perfectly long distance away from one another.

Jace sighed deeply as he stood outside _WoodsCrow Bar_. He hadn't been there in ages, not since he met Clary. To be honest he didn't want to be here now. His love for Clary hasn't dissolved yet, nor did Jace believe it ever would. But he had no choice, they were brother and sister, and it was wrong... all kinds of wrong, and he needed to get his mind off of it. A small part of him wanted his old self back. The Jace that wanted girls, then wanted them to leave him alone...

He stepped in, putting on that old mask of his. The stiff, over confident one. He approached the bar and ordered his scotch. Now hopefully this time he could actually finish it. He wasn't planning on picking a fight with a pack of werewolves, tonight he was planning on something much more pleasurable.

He continued to gulp down drinks, letting the buzz take him over, in hopes of not letting his subconsience remind him of a beautiful red head.

"Well, well... look who it is." the beautiful brunette waitress caressed his back from behind. she wore bright red lipstick, which always drove Jace wild. She was a little shadowhunter girl, just earning a bit of little extra money... on the side.

The only answer he gave her was a smirk, and another sip of his drink. Her hand continued up and down his back. He didnt _want_ her the way he wanted Clary, therefore, she wasn't much of one to get a good response out of him. Not many girls he had known could.

"The strong silent type." She practically whispered in his ear.  
Jace smirked again.

"What makes you so sure?" He finally said sipping his drink, ignoring the scoff from the dreary looking bartender.

"They say the shy ones, are always the ones that want more." She said taking his drink from him and taking a sip. No one was allowed to do that, except for a beautiful petite with red hair, the color of the waitress's lips. He snatched the girls wrist for taking the glass, but she didn't show any sign of fear.

"No!" He said simply and without any emotion whatsoever. "It's because I'm only interested in one thing, and one thing only."

He took back his drink, taking in a gulp of it, not taking his eyes away from the fiery red lipped doll standing beside him.

"So," She exhaled as if someone had taken her breath away with a kiss. Jace had this effect with many more girls besides this one. "I suppose you'll be ordering the usual tonight."

Jace grinned as he brought his hand down her waist and grazing along her butt. His eyes were deep pools of angry desire, and he wanted nothing more then to lick those lips, that reminded him so much of someone else.

"I_ suppose_," his voice became very seductive. "that you'll be receiving a delightful tip tonight..." he brought his lips to her neck, then withdrew just inches away, letting his warm breath trickle her skin, he heard a sigh from her lips, and mentally thought,

_Easy prey..._

She was a whore to him, that's all she was, and she would do anything he asked. Jace always had this effect with girls. It seemed as if they worshipped him. Just with one small smirk across his lips, and he could make any girl jump at a blow job with no reward in return. He didn't care, he never did. And for a small moment; he was glad to be his old self again...

It wasn't long till they somewhere private and Jace, was caressing her breasts firmly in is hands. The girl moaned softly, and with that small sound, Jace suddenly had lifted her roughly off the ground and on the table, in her dark obviously sexish apartment. The place looked like a hooker lived there. Her nightstand by her bed had many condoms on it, and her bed comfiter was zebra stripes, and the walls had colors like purple, red or black. The carpet was so soft, a person could sleep on the floor, and never complain about it later.

Jace was gripping her so tight, she whimpered in pain, but didn't protest. suddenly she had withdrew from him, not sure why. Jace almost went completely back to the way he use to be, and was ready to insult her and leave, if there wasn't going to be a fuck tonight. But no, she pushed herself off the table and lead him to the furry couch making him fall back on it. She bent down over him undoing his belt, and unzipping his jeans. The anticipation between her taking off his belt, and unzipping him, made him harden to the point of pain. She must of sensed it.

"You poor boy, you absolutely need to release your tension."

"Are you going to treat me for it? or am I going to have make you?"

She just giggled at his response, he was cruel, and he didn't care, and _she_ obviously didn't care.

She gripped his shaft firmly in her hands, bringing out a groan from deep inside Jace's throat. She stroked it slowly, with each stroke he breathed harder, heavier and faster. Then she brought the whole of him inside her mouth, deep throating. He had to give it to her, she was marvelous at this, fitting all of him was a challenge, and he at least some small respect for her just because of her talent.

His head fell back against the couch, as moan after moan escaped his lips. She began to pump his cock in and out of her mouth faster, trying to get louder moans out of him. immediately after that, she sucked with great force, almost like as if he had shoved his cock into a vacuum hose. It worked; he was yelling now, faster. He made her wet instantly, and he was almost there, she could feel it. And that is why she quickly withdrew him from her mouth. Jace's moans stopped, but he was still panting with his head back against the couch. When he felt her crawl up onto his lap, he sat his head up to look at her. The alcohol must've been kicking in, because all of the sudden, the red lipped brunette wasn't straddling him, it was a petite red head, with green eyes. He wasn't bound to stop her as she gripped his dick again and roughly shoved it within her letting out a yelp and making Jace grip her hips with bruising pressure. She held onto his shoulders for support as she began to ride him, and as he moaned, she rode him faster, and faster. Now he was moaning her name in pure ecstasy.

"Clary... Clary... oh god, Clary."

The Clary figure bent down to bight the pulse point of his neck, making him embrace her completely as he thrusted his hips hard into her. He wanted to take her, take her hard, make her scream his name, make her cry, make her love him. And so he swung her on her back on the couch, and slammed into her with great force, she whimpered and cried, and continued to scream out in pleasure.

"Clary! Oh god Clary!"

"Fuck me!" She screamed "Cum inside me!"

And so he did, he let go every bit of angst and love he had for her out through his cock, spilling his seed, filling the condom he wore. He spoke of love and tears came down his cheeks as he slowed and eventually stopped.

He pulled himself out of her, pulling up his pants, zipping them, and putting the belt back on. His face was still wet with tears, and he still panted heavily from exhaustion. He had almost forgotten the girl was there until she spoke.

"So... um... who's Clary?"

He turned his gaze her way and realized she was no longer the beautiful red head that he swore he had just fucked to the point of never walking again, but the waitress, shadowhunter brunette, with red lips now gone and smudged off.

_By the Angel _He scolded himself as he buried his face in his hands. He couldn't believe what he had just done. He was truly disgusting, a monster, might as well be a demon. He tried with all his strength not to cry again.

She sat on the other end of the couch watching him with curiosity. She was shocked, he never came to her like this before. She figured that this boy didn't love anyone not even family, until now.

When he didn't answer, just kept his face buried in his hands, she decided to ask again as calm as she could, as to prove that she was only curious, not jealous. She didn't even know the boy's name, why would she be jealous. She's had other boys come and act this way, but_ never_ this one.

"Well, who is she?"

Jace finally removed his hands from his face, looked at her without any readable expression, just like before and though his answer was;

"Nobody"

At the same time, he mentally said;

"_My sister..."_


	2. Chapter 2: Guilty Blood

Since some people wanted me to write more _smut_ (haha) I decided to write another chapter, that might go further if people like it. So I decided to keep it like _Jace's Angst_, keeping it at his point of view. Not first person, just his point of view.

I know you guys wanted a lemon about when Clary and Jace first find out they're not brother and sister, but I've wanted to write what I really wanted to happen in the City of Glass in the 'Guilty Blood' chapter. I'm probably going to piss you guys off by the end of this. hehehe. But that all depends on how much you like it and ask for me to continue or not.

I want to say THANK YOU to all who've reviewed and added my story to their fave/alert list. I really wasn't expecting that. Thank you! =)

Oh yes, in my last chapter I forgot my disclaimer, I **cannot** forget this time. lol.

**Disclaimer: I'm sorry to say that I do not own any of The Mortal Instruments Series, nor none of the characters that are provided in the stories. Nor do I associate with the awesome writer of these awesome books, Cassandra Clair. **

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Chapter 2. Guilty Blood

_"You should probably," he said, "Tell me not to do this."_  
_She said nothing. She didn't want to tell him to stop. She was tired of saying no to Jace- of never letting her herself feel what her whole heart__** wanted**__ her to feel. whatever the cost._  
_He bent down, his lips against her cheek, brushing it lightly- and still that light touch sent shivers through her nerves, shivers that made her whole body tremble. "If you want me stop, tell me now," he whispered. When she still said nothing, he brushed his mouth against the hollow of her temple. "or now." He traced the line of her cheekbone. "Or now." His lips were against hers. "Or-" _

But she had reached up and pulled him down to her, and the rest of his words were lost against her mouth. He kissed her gently, carefully, then he suddenly felt her fists knot into his shirt, pulling him hard against her. The sudden urgency from her made him groan with desire. He felt all walls being torn down around him. He could finally touch her the way he's always wanted to touch her, and so he added more pressure to the kiss, getting a whimper from her. He encircled his arms around her, gathering her against him. Suddenly everything that they've both feared was gone, everything that was keeping them apart were no longer there. And Jace let go, finally letting himself have what he's always wanted from her.

His skin was becoming hot and his jeans were starting to feel uncomfortably tight. Usually he'd be afraid if she'd noticed but not this time, this time he _wanted_ her to know. Wanted her to know how he really felt. So he began grinding his hips against hers, letting her feel his arousal. It must've worked because a soft moan escaped into his mouth from hers. She began tugging on his jacket, he shrugged it off, and immediately her hands were slipping under his shirt. It happened so fast, as he separated himself from her just to rip his shirt off over his head, tossing it, not paying any attention to where it went

He looked down at her, to see her lift up her arms asking him to return to her. He practically fell on top of her and she wrapped her arms around him. He felt her fingers trace his marks, and scars, sparking a shiver down his spine. He sighed in her mouth again, this time he flicked his tongue along her bottom lip, asking for entrance. She shocked him when she opened her mouth wide allowing him to explore her mouth deeply with his tongue. She tasted incredible, like the apples they ate when they shared their first kiss in the Green House on the roof of the institute.

He then felt her hands travel to his chest messaging his muscles and still tracing his risen scars that covered him all over. He wanted more of her so he fumbled with the buttons on her coat, hands shaking uncontrollably. He was still in mid-shock that she was allowing him to express himself fully to her. Still shocked that she was doing the same with him.

He finally got all of her coat unbuttoned, now she was exposed to the cold air. He could see her tiny peeks showing through the thin fabric of her shirt. The urge to grasp them took over as his he crashed his lips back against hers and brought his hand up over her left breast squeezing it tightly. Clary whimpered and bit his bottom lip in return. Jace grinned as she developed this sudden hunger.

He pushed himself against her again, bringing another moan from her lips, and her legs suddenly widened underneath him, wrapping around his waist, grinding her hips against him. His hard member hitting her sensitive aching clit.

_This was it!_ he thought.

They were going to do this right here, and he wasn't planning on stopping. He didn't care what genes they shared, he wanted her. He has _dreamed _of taking her, making her _his_! He was tired of all the times he came so close, but having to be interrupted, he was tired of waking up day after day, turned on so much it hurt. Tired of constant cold showers, and his left hand to replace the real thing. Just tired, tired of it all. He wasn't even in the mood to hear her cry about it afterward, he just wanted her, and nothing was going to stop him this time.

He decided to be bold and take the risk of taking this passionate moment a step further. His hand that has been caressing her left breast traveled down to her waist, and along the front of her stomach. He lingered there for only a moment, and then gently slipped his fingers under her waistband. he felt her body tense, but she didn't protest. Jace took this as a sign to go further. Now his hand has fully entered her pants and still no resistance from her. Jace grinned against her lips as he finally found his destination. The warm centre between her thighs. She was already wet with anticipation. Her breaths quickened, and deepened, as Jace began to rub her sensitive nub. She spread her legs wider at the touch of him, and moaned loudly into his mouth. All of this was making his cock throb painfully against his jeans

"Oh Jace..." she sighed in between kisses.

He groaned, but in pain from the sudden twitch of his throbbing cock. He began grinding hard against her now, hoping she would catch on and return the reward he was giving her. His fingers were now coated in her juices. He took his fingers away from her aching centre, much to her Detest, and brought them to his lips, sucking all of her juices from his fingers. He shoved his lips back against her, and continued to rock his hips.

He was rewarded, rewarded by her hands slipping lower and lower between them, not once breaking their kiss. Her hands stopped at the waistband of his jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them. He gasped long, loud, and hard as her hand slipped down his pants gripping his throbbing cock. He gave her something in return when his dick let go a little bit of warm thick liquid at the tip. This would be the first time for quite a bit that he separated his lips from hers to take a quick breath.

"Clary..."He sighed deeply as he let his head drop into the crook of her neck. She suddenly let out a loud shocking gasp the second his head collapsed against her, and instantly she let go of him. Jace's moment of desire was then shattered into a million the second her hand released his hard-rock member. When she let out the gasp it wasn't a gasp of pleasure, it sounded more like she was in pain. He sat up quickly afraid he'd done something wrong. He looked at her straight in the eyes, her lips were red and swollen, and he might have left a small mark on her neck, but he didn't care.

"What is it, did I hurt you?"

"No," She shook her head slowly. "It was this." She tapped her finger against the silver chain that hung from his neck. At the end of it was the Morgenstern Ring, the bitter coldness of it must've bumped into her collarbone when he let his head fall into her neck. He watched her, she was staring at it now.

"I'm sorry." Jace hadn't realized the sudden realization that just popped into her brain. He was still in bliss, forgetting that they were brother and sister, they were together and the world didn't care. The world accepted it. He was tracing the line of her cheek with his thumb.. like a boyfriend would "I forgot I was wearing the damn thing."

"Jace..." she said in a low voice. Jace felt her body tense. "Jace, don't..."  
"Don't what? Don't wear the ring?"

"No, don't- don't touch me. Stop for a second."

Jace went still. What was her problem_ now_!? So many questions were running in his mind, but he thought it wise not to interrupt her. _Just please don't stop this! Please! Why are you making me stop __**now**__!?_

"Jace," she said again. "Why? Why now?"

_Why now? _He thought. _Yes that's a very good question, Why now!? Not now! I don't want it to be now! I just want __**us**__ to be now, just us. Why are you doing this to me? Why are you torturing me, Clarissa Fray, why!?_

"Why _what_ now?" _So much for not letting anything stop me_ .......

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I promise I'll get to when they first find out they're not brother and sister. I just wanted to work my way up to that.

So, I'm sure you're all P-Oed about no sex in this scene. lol. I'm sorry. I think it was good that she didn't have them do anything just yet in this scene. This is just my more detailed, raunchy virgin of that scene. What **I** wanted to happen. heehee

I'll continue on.. I'll get there... eventually


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